Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
