So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize