PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
