at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Who died my cat blue again?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
