So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
