I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Randomize
