fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize