i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
