if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
