Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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