I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just made my gag reflex go away.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
50% drunk capacity currently
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
