i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
