My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
