We won't sleep together?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
