girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
