Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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