I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
