what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My breasts were aching with rage.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
