Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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