is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize