Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
