Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
