I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
