you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
