it wasn't lemon gatorade
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize