Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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