I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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