yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
