I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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