why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
