my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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