just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
