Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
