I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
