I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
