Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
