Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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