She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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