I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
