I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
