please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
