I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
