there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize