David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
