You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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