Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
