Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
