when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
