Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize