Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize