do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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