is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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