My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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