TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
