Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My penis needs a shock collar
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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