we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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