My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
