D3 body, D1 cock
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I love having hate sex.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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