so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
