so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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