yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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