absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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